The Perfect Words

Relationship: Talk 1.

Her: How do you think my new hairstyle looks darling?

Him: Yeah, it looks good, really good.

Her: Is that all you've got to say?

Him: I mean to say it looks really nice?

Her: 'Really nice, really nice!' That's all you've got to say is it? I don't know why I bother asking you anything sometimes?

Relationship: Talk 2.

Her: How do you think my new hairstyle looks darling?

Him: I think it looks really nice darling.

Her: 'Really nice!' Is that all?

Him: Well put it another way then. My wonderful Goddess, my life bringer, you hold above your head the most amazing hair ever known to mankind....or womankind. You've accentuated your face-line by adding layers I see? Thus taking at least four years off your current age if we take trends, fashions, popular culture and the current spate of make-over television programmes into consideration. Your oval face is ideally classed for any hairstyle but I would also now suggest that you use any good quality hair product that contains your desired pH balance. Also, try not to shampoo your new hairstyle everyday or you may find yourself losing those oh-so essential oils. Oh, and whilst your at it, give yourself a scalp massage regularly if possible........darling.

Her: Fuck off!

One of the toughest and most important aspects, to me at least, about a relationship, any relationship is that on many occasions you find yourself having to speak the 'perfect words'.

Words within a couple of sentences which can make it all crystal clear whilst hopefully also making it all better....

In my experience it has also been noted on many occasions, that within a relationship a translator can very often be required as well!

Occasionally when I'm talking I seem to lose control of what I'm saying. That is to say that I hear something, reply, start heading towards some point and often forget what f'ing words go in the middle! When words are taken the wrong way and I then begin to hear everything the wrong way, the aural universe as I know it can become completely meaningless!

If I occasionally add alcohol, excitement, enthusiasm and passion, it can also end up (sometimes) a quite enjoyable verbal mess!

Is there any time or desire for the perfect words any more? Especially in a committed relationship or partnership, or are people now prepared to except a passable ape like grunt, slightly encouraging groan or half convincing nod of a head as a sign of interest or resolution?

Surely some people gain fame, notoriety and money by talking complete crap and often in a quirky way! These peoples words are often adored and bowed down to as perfect! These people are the lucky ones of course, their jokes, answers, and reactions usually written by somebody else or played out a hundred times from within their own egos and heads?
I suppose its also different if your a public speaker or if your job entails lots of talking to people as you've usually got a point (paid for) and your bursting with confidence, fake or otherwise.

Real life and real situations are a completely universe away from the reality of life when searching for the perfect words. When you write words you have all the time in the world to move things around.

Delete,
shift,
cut,
paste,
move....

You have time to shape and edit. In reality, when finding the perfect words you often only get one chance to say it right. Get things wrong and you may spend the next ten minutes (or ten years) openly editing yourself.

Trying to get a hold of what somebody is saying, for instance in an argument, can lead to nothing been said or heard at all. It just turns into you hearing what you want to hear and nothing been resolved or digested at all.... apart from the bad bits.

And I've stated soooo many times from within these pages...I'm far from perfect in the blocks of reality which make up any average human being who wonders occasionally, just what it is that makes their clock tick!

I interrupt!
For fucks sake, I interrupt myself!
I really do try to listen....but sometimes don't.

Don't get me wrong here either. I don't choose my words like a preened television announcer and I don't sound like a fucking robot or a speak and spell either, believe me I try to flow!

But that's another post altogether...
this is about nailing the moment with some rehearsals involved...

You see, Its just that on some occasions I have to have a little mental script wrote out and stored in my mind or the sheer moment or anticipation of the moment alone can be enough to overwhelm me and want me to back out of the situation altogether.

You get told as a child to think before you speak, bollox! You need that advice as you get older to!

Have you ever been in that situation where you have something planned to say to someone? Perfect words which you need to prep and rehearse? Of course this whole action can be decimated in seconds by one simple reaction from the person your intending to speak to:

The interruption.....

Maybe your just a few words into your delivery when the other person decides that they may not like we're your going, even if for hours you've thought of the right opening words from with which to make your point as perfect as possible.

So suddenly you've lost your flow, your mental script has been cross-shredded...everything is gone and your desired, perfect words can be sensed spinning off into the black hole of wasted breath, time, situations and conversations.
Your reacting to their interruption and suddenly find yourself back on your cycle of thinking quickly, your peddling frantically again and its all about reacting again. Points are made differently and your attempt to do the right thing (in your eyes at least) is rendered useless and is discarded like a baby's f'ing nappy!

Maybe we should write more letters to people?
It shows that precious time has been taken but more importantly, no one can interrupt and make you lose hold and direction of those perfect words which perhaps, were about to spring forth from your tongue like some mystical spirit of wisdom and perfection!

As I reach the end of this weeks piece, I want to let you into a little revelation about myself and about my writing. I really do feel that it's important and I've been trying to find the right words as I've been writing all this nonsense! I think I've found those words now! There really has been a point to all this and it goes as follows: I